"You're not down." You're right. I really am not. As much as it sounds convenient, the lesson DAH taught me sunk deep into me. Damn him for that lesson. I might tell him--but that'll make his ego grow. I don't need that. But maybe it'll help clear some of that tension. I don't mind it, the tension, but graduation is coming along. I don't want to end on a bad or misconstrued note with him.


So... AB, CV, KS.
AB opened me, CV was probably the best so far, KS really messed up my plan of trying to play it out "correctly."
But yeah. I don't feel being all philosophical on this page right now, even though I usually try to. 


I just want to make all those big decisions, and get them over with. I tried flipping a coin. And it's true what they say, the moment you throw it in the air, you see the coin, almost in a slowed time, it's being tossed upwards, and it's going up further, and dancing in the air, and all the while you are watching it, in the back of your mind you are repeating the choice you truly want. You're watching it and praying to God, and every possible god out there, you're praying to that coin, and that shiny president who's getting dizzy up in the air. You're praying to gravity, praying that timing lets you catch it at the precise moment so that when you check it, it gives you the answer you want. But it doesn't matter what it says in the end. You can just throw it and let it fall, because in that split second, as the coin is falling rapidly, plummeting to the floor, you know what you want, you know what you should choose. It's clear. I did that. I made a decision, in the car, before an intersection at a red-light turning to green. I know what I want. But now... my dilemma is: What do I need?