I MISS NOT HAVING YOU TO TALK TO.

I'd probably never admit it to you as of right now... but I really do.

New observation: When he isn't there, other guys step in (esp. guy #1). And sometimes when two step in, they team up. Hahaha. And they both know what they are doing to me. And I can't help but to enjoy it and give in a little. Just a smidge. ;) 
Stupid boys. X)




New question: I wonder what he (guy#1) would say if I asked him? I think he'd be shocked at first...but I know he wouldn't be able to resist....hmmmm.




New observation: I can't talk to him about anything other than school!!!! How embarrassing! I can't seem to think of anything to say, and I've been finding his quirks to be more annoying than anything lately. :( I guess we'll just stay friends...

Ha. Well the truth comes out eventually doesn't it? 
God, I can't believe you. 
It wouldn't have affected me at all, had you not turned the lie on me first. You know what?--You are just a dumbass. You are so worried about yourself and caught up in your own drama and you still have the balls to stand up and point the finger at me. 
I cant believe you Blamed me! Turns out you were all worked up about the same words You, yourself uttered aloud. No surprise.
And I thought you were surprising, turns out I was just blind. You're just like everyone else, if not worse. 


P.S. You are a hypocrite and I hope everyone finds out about your dirty little secret. Next time I see you, you are in for it. 

"Sigh, It's bad," thats what he said. As simple as that. And he's right. I know it. But I've been surrounded by it all my life. I've experienced it daily. I've ventured straight to the edge, just to see how far I could go. "How far down is that drop?" I've wondered. 
It would be no surprise to find myself down that pit in a few years. In fact many joke about it and I don't think they'd find it surprising either. Its bad. But I'm used to the abuse. It doesn't hurt as bad anymore, in fact deep down I've always loved it. It's been just recently where it started to strike up some unsettling emotions and feelings. But now that that's behind me....
I CAN SEE WHERE I AM GOING...


i want to do it all over again, but this time a little differently. I hope he knows that...


xoxoxo,
steph


dahdah...