He sounded different. I should have thought of a better way to say it than I had. I laughed on the phone too much. Like I thought this was all a joke--when I had been deeply shaken by it in the back of my mind for a while. But it's over. I feel less mature for some reason. Like he's older than me and more experienced in life. But he's not. I guess what I'm saying is I feel immature. And I can picture his face. And the way he moved over me. But I like to picture us walking, myself on the sidewalk, him on the street. The way I leaned on him, the way he held me up. The way we smiled and laughed and kissed. Thank God I never have to even think about living with him or that night forever though, now. 

Open your eyes. Even in the dark I can see the light shining, outlining, defining you. I know who I am with no matter the time of day. 








You used to promise me dates and calls. I never asked for any of that at all. Never wanted that with you, just wanted something--someone--new.  I held on for such a long time--in the back of my mind. But then you went on and you opened me wide, for everyone.... Now I see you watching me, and I know I have all the memories tucked away in my back-seat. I used to be attached, a latch-key kid, hoping you'd open that door. But the the power is all mine now. 
You weren't clever at all, I knew I had you between my claws. Never would have pounced so far though, but the drinks told me to. Oh, wouldn't she be proud? To hear you've been hanging around?   That little comment she made sure did foreshadow more than I dreamed. I just can't imagine the nightmare that'll follow, if you and me, became we.   

Long time no see honey...