I miss you terribly. I didn't know it until now. I want to just be there for you right now. I want you to just take me. I had to stop looking when I saw you talk to her... I didn't want to read it, because I was scared it'd convey something I wouldn't dare want to see. And I held my breath and looked away. And then I thought. I am so unfair. He should be given this. I mean I talk to so many people. But seeing that. Seeing you so close. Feeling so far away...
I miss you.

I am talking. And talking. And talking. Of course I think of the future and where this is headed. Somewhere down the road it's just going to drop dead. I know. I am not sure what he thinks. But I know. I am thinking of the possibilities though. MAYBE. But I doubt it because I know the reality and truth of the situation. It'll never work out. 

Yeah I kind of just want to go up to dahdah and tell him this:
FUCK YOU. Fuck you for giving up so quickly, and changing so drastically. Fuck you for trying to bury our friendship under some measly month of bullshit. Fuck you for not only giving in, but for running away from me in the process and getting angry at me. Fuck you for believing her. And Fuck you for thinking you have the power over me. You thought I'd cave huh? Well, what's it feel like to only see my cold shoulder? Keep trying to make contact with me. You are going to have to say sorry first...

I am pretty competitive--and I hate to lose. Especially, since I feel like after getting so close, I'm losing you...